Not So Secret Journal

I grew up in the 80’s, where we were told that in 2024, we would have flying cars that drove themselves, oh and robots that would do all of the housework to help mum out, I bloody wish.

God knows who was in charge of the dreams department back then, but I swear they were either talking out of their arses or taking some kind of illegal substance, because we didn’t even have a remote control for the tv, this was the reason people had loads of kids and don’t get me started on computer’s.

We had 3 channels on the TV and you were considered posh if you had a home phone (it was also attached to the wall).

The closest we got to see into the future was when Marty McFly went to 2015 (and no he didn’t start the band), he went back in time to save his parents’ marriage, and oh bugger you’ll just have to watch the movie.

Fast forward 40 years and our kids actually don’t realise they’re born, look I know I sound old saying this but hear me out.

The closest we had to a mobile phone was sharing the phone box with half the street, and there were no such things as sanitising wipes to wipe the phone down with before using it. So, using the phone after old bob had made his weekly calls wasn’t the most pleasant-smelling thing in the world, as he had a beard that would give the lads at ZZ top a run for their money and he smoked 50 a day so you can imagine the vomit inducing smell.

We had to go to the library and take out books to be able to do our homework or study for exams, as we had no internet or computers to help us find the answers, oh and we also had to list each book we took information from in our course work so the teachers knew where the information had come from.

The closest we got to AI, was your nan telling you duff information that she had been fed as a child, and you went on for years believing it.

TV’s now have hundreds of channels, and don’t get me started on all the other add on subscriptions you can get now, and there’s still nothing decent on to watch. We had 3 channels, when we got 4 and 5 it was like we won the lottery and if your parents were rich enough to have cable, then you would be the most popular kid in your class, and all your mates would be round at your house watching all the cool American shite.

The school run happened in all weathers, unlike todays parents who think their kids are made from sugar and insist on running the little darlings the 50 yards from their home to school in the car just in case little Penelope gets wet. God forbid, she would have to get changed in her pe kit or just sit in damp clothes all day.

School uniforms now are actual luxury, a different pe kit for each sport, tennis, rugby, football etc, we had to strip down to our knickers and vests for PE and you knew which kid still didn’t know how to wipe their arses properly at the age of 11.

I always tell my kids how spoilt they are, they’re not, but they have so much more than we did as kid’s.

They tell me that times change and AI is the future. Maybe AI is no different to what we have always be used too, some of the teachers in our school thought they knew everything just like Alexa, maybe that’s where they got the idea from.

As for Siri, well I like him better, its like having a favourite AI child, Alexa is the mardy one that gives away my purchases from Amazon, she’s such a snitch, whereas Siri, well you can change his accent (mine is Australian) and he is generally more pleasant to deal with than Alexa.

Whatever AI has instore with us for the future it will never replace the Karen’s of this world, and it certainly still won’t be able to get the daily weather report right.

So, until they find some decent AI that can predict this week winning lottery numbers, then I will just continue to be me and the only thing artificial you will find about me is the flavouring and preservatives that I just ate in the form of fruit pastilles.

Have a fabulous day x.