Not So Secret Journal

I feel like it’s time I should reveal what my actual secret is, (well parent’s in general really)

You see I’m just a mum, standing in front of a mirror wondering,

Whose sticky fingerprints are those?

When did I get so fat, (someone could have told me)

Where have those lines come from on my face and

 Am turning into a Disney Princess?  because strands of my hair are turning white!

People ask me all the time, “How do you cope with 6 kids?”, the secret is we don’t, we wing everything, Every Single Day.  

If its not on the calendar then it just isn’t happening and that includes the little one and his ukulele on a Wednesday.

My brain isn’t what it used to be, and my body gave up on me about 3 kids ago.

You see being a parent comes with baggage, mental baggage, physical baggage and just the regular life baggage (it’s a good job we aren’t flying Ryan Air).

We constantly question ourselves,

Am I doing this right?

Was that my fault?

Do I spend enough quality time with them?

Am I enough?

Did they get sick because I don’t Hinch my house?

What could I do better?

Why can’t I stay awake after 9:30?

There are millions of these little questions all waiting to pounce at 3am, when you should be sleeping, and I feel like this has got a whole lot worse since the invention of “Social Media”. With parents feeling the need to compare little johnny’s progress and diet to some imposter on the gram.

Becoming a parent also mean’s that you’re responsible for a little human’s mental health as well as keeping them healthy. (the odd maccies won’t kill them)

Teaching them right from wrong (that mean’s not letting them see you eat cake for breakfast, and telling them they won’t like your chocolate, because its sour, when they catch you eating it in the cupboard)

Teaching them to be strong, and encouraging them to share their thoughts and feelings (just not at 3am, when they remember that someone was mean to them at school)

Teaching them new words, (this doesn’t include the words you might use in the car when a terrible driver cuts you up or fails to indicate)

Teaching them to try new things, (as long as, you don’t have to do them too, besides you’ve never liked broccoli)

Teaching them that they can’t win all the time (the exception to this would be the parent’s race at sports day, when your playground reputation is at risk)

Encourage them to make new friends (but only the ones you like, never the feral kid’s)

Teach them to always be kind (this doesn’t apply to their siblings apparently)

You will get a whole new job description and not like the one you will get at work, because that one is approved by HR, this one gets a new title added to it daily until you die.

Maid, Cleaner, Cook, Transport Coordinator, Hostage Negotiator, UN Peace Maker, Teacher, Nanny, Personal Photographer, Counsellor, Alarm Clock, Personal Shopper, Nurse, Hair Stylist, Head Cheerleader, Best Friend, Worst Enemy, Shipping and Receiving agent, Personal Assistant, Entertainer, Banker, Giver of hugs are to mention just a few.

To be honest the list is endless and for me my secret is to never give up, not once. Even when it gets hard, and it does. The Sleep deprivation, the constant questions, and constantly questioning yourself, is all worth it.

You see no matter how many times I’ve thought about giving up, there’s always this little human standing there needing me to wipe their bum.

When I used to dream about being a grown up, I’d think about the nice house, tidy and clean, having long hot bath’s and being able to do exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.

The reality is I never once questioned that it would be this hard, I mean no one tells you that growing up involves constantly thinking about what you’re going to make for tea, and then negotiating that decision like your life depends on it, because the chicken needs to be used before tomorrow.

Would I do it all over again? Absolutely.

Would I do it differently? Absolutely not

Life gets tough with or without kids, but the one thing my lot have taught me is that when things get hard, there’s always a hug or two to help you see how lucky you are to have them, granted two seconds later they’ll be screaming that someone is in their air space, but it was nice whilst it lasted.

 Catch you later.